having a cow / over the moon / and under / the lake

Today is one of those days when I rejoice and think of all the good things in life and wonder, “Goll-ee! How could I EVER be happier?!”

I’m staring at you.

If you seriously just believed what I told you, if you seriously just took that in and said, “yes, of course that’s how McKenzie feels,” then I must question your sanity or knowledge of my current to-do list.


Okay, perhaps I am being a little harsh. Outside of a few key-ingredient people, I’ve been trying to not talk about applying to MFA programs TOO much for the sheer fact that I WILL key myself up to the extent of exploding.

And if it’s going to happen, then people, today is that day.

I have to send out my first application—Ohio’s…one of my top three favorite schools, OF COURSE subjected as [guinea pig]—on Wednesday, THIS Wednesday, right after, perhaps, my last visit to LaSalle, depending on whether I can go to Riley High for a visit this week. AM I NERVOUS?!


I’m going into perfectionistic-and-no-I-don’t-care-if-that’s-actually-not-a-word territory with my statement of purpose, resume, critical samples… and, good God, my poetry sample. I was going through my work last night, realized I haven’t really written anything all week, am behind on revising all of this CRAP, and my first application has to be in. the. mail. on. WEDNESDAY.

I need a chill pill. In fact, I need SEVERAL chill pills.


Typically anything calming-flute-related tends to help… so this video is a good friend of mine right now:

…as well as these two beautiful photographs by Christopher Martin. He’s also linked on my main page, under “Visual Arts,” so make sure to check him out…

and from the coyote / a ghost is taken...

Wish me luck, all. You have no idea how bad I want this.

Until later… ❤ me


About mckenzielynntozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives and writes in South Bend, Indiana, where she works as the Departmental Secretary of English and World Language Studies at Indiana University South Bend, and remains closely affiliated with 42 Miles Press, New Issues Poetry and Prose, and Wolfson Press. She previously received her MFA in Poetry from Western Michigan University, where she worked as the Layout and Design Editor for New Issues Poetry and Prose and as an Assistant Editor of Poetry for Third Coast. Her poems have appeared in Encore Magazine, Sleet Magazine, Rogue Agent, Thank You for Swallowing, Whale Road Review, The James Franco Review, The Birds We Piled Loosely, and Analecta; and her book reviews have appeared on her website and on The Rumpus. She lives with her husband, their daughter, and three cats. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com. View all posts by mckenzielynntozan

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